Most people think estate planning is about documents.
A Will.
Powers of Attorney.
Signatures in the right places.
Those things matter. They provide structure and protection for the people we care about.
But after many years of practicing law, I have come to realize something important.
The legal documents are rarely the hardest part.
The harder part — and often the more meaningful part — is answering the questions that sit underneath them.
Questions like:
- What truly matters most to me?
- What values have shaped my life?
- What do I want the people I love to understand about me?
- What do I hope they will carry forward long after I’m gone?
These are not legal questions.
But they are the questions that give the legal work its meaning.
The Questions Beneath the Planning
When people first come to see me, they usually want to make sure the practical things are taken care of.
They want to know:
- Who will make decisions if I cannot?
- How will my assets be handled?
- How do I make sure my family is protected?
These are important conversations, and the legal tools we put in place help answer them.
But something important is often missing from the process.
Most legal planning focuses on the documents themselves — what needs to be signed, who will be responsible, and how assets will be handled.
What rarely gets discussed are the deeper questions that sit beneath those decisions.
Questions about life, values and legacy.
Questions like:
What truly matters most to me?
What values have shaped my life?
What do I hope the people I love will carry forward?
These are not legal questions.
But they are the questions that give the legal work its meaning.
When we take time to reflect on these ideas, planning becomes more than administration.
It becomes conscious estate planning — planning that reflects not only what you own, but what you stand for.
What Legacy Really Means
When we talk about legacy, many people immediately think about wealth or property.
But in my experience, the things families remember most are rarely material.
They remember:
- the principles someone lived by
- the lessons they shared
- the way they treated people
- the example they set
These things shape families for generations.
Yet they are often the things we spend the least time talking about when we plan.
Conscious Estate Planning
This deeper work is what I often refer to as conscious estate planning.
It means thinking not only about assets and instructions, but also about the values and principles that shape how those assets — and the decisions around them — will be understood.
For example, many families can still describe the character of a grandparent or great-grandparent decades later.
Not simply because of what they left financially, but because of the way they lived.
Perhaps it was their generosity.
Or their perseverance during difficult times.
Or the quiet principles they lived by every day.
Sometimes it is the small things people remember too — the stories they told, the sayings they repeated, the habits that defined them, the way they gathered people together or showed up when someone needed help.
Those details become part of a family’s identity. They quietly influence decisions and shape how future generations move through the world.
This reflection also has a practical purpose.
If someone you trust is asked to act as your Power of Attorney, they may one day need to make decisions when you cannot speak for yourself.
If someone serves as your executor, they will be responsible for carrying out your wishes and guiding your affairs.
Understanding the values behind your decisions helps those people act with confidence and clarity.
It is also why we encourage clients to organize important information and reflections in what we call the “When the Time Comes” binder — a resource designed to support loved ones if they are ever asked to step into those responsibilities.
Legal planning can help transfer wealth.
Conscious estate planning helps transfer wisdom.
Why I Created the CODA Workshop
Over the years, I began to notice that many people had completed their legal planning but had never really taken the time to articulate the deeper ideas behind it.
They had a Will.
But they had never written down their values.
They had Powers of Attorney.
But they had never captured the lessons they hoped their children or loved ones might carry forward.
The CODA process was created to give people space to reflect on these deeper questions in a thoughtful and structured way.
You can learn more about the philosophy behind CODA here.
It is not about legal documents.
It is about helping people define what matters most — and capturing those ideas in a way that can guide both their planning and their lives.
A Simple Reflection Exercise
Before attending the workshop, I invite you to try a short exercise.
You do not need to overthink it. The goal is simply to begin the reflection.
Take a few quiet minutes and consider these three questions.
1. What values have guided your life?
Think about the principles that have shaped your decisions over time.
Examples might include:
- integrity
- generosity
- independence
- curiosity
- family
- faith
- resilience
Write down the ones that feel most true for you.
2. What do you hope the people closest to you will remember about you?
Not what you achieved.
But how you lived.
How you treated people.
How you showed up for those around you.
What would you hope your children, partner or closest friends would say about the kind of person you were?
3. What wisdom would you want to pass forward?
If you could leave a few guiding principles for the people you care about most, what would they be?
What lessons from your life would you want them to carry with them?
There are no right answers.
The value of this exercise is simply beginning the reflection.
These ideas often become the foundation for the deeper work we explore during the workshop.
Join the Workshop
If this reflection resonates with you, the ‘When the Time Comes’ Workshop offers an opportunity to explore these ideas further in a small, guided setting.
Together, we will work through exercises that help you:
- Clarify your personal values and guiding principles
- Organize key assets and important information for your planning
- Reflect on the legacy you hope to leave for the people you care about
- Capture messages or reflections you may wish to share with loved ones
Many people find that this process brings clarity not only to their legal planning but also to how they think about their lives and relationships.
‘When the Time Comes’ Workshop
Monday, April 13
6:30–8:30 PM
Brown Lawyers | Waterdown
$20 donation in support of the local food bank.
Seats are intentionally limited to keep the conversation thoughtful and interactive.
